The Truth Behind The “Friend Zone”

I saw a very clever meme the other day regarding the friend zone, and I really thing it hit the nail on the head. I’ll admit that I have pitied myself on some occasions in the past when I’ve gotten friend-zoned, but I could never scorn someone for it. A lot of guys (and girls, I’m sure) seem to blame the people that place them in this “prison” of friendship.


People treat it like being told that they only want to be friends with you is the worst possible thing ever. It really isn’t. If you like a person enough to want to be in a real, adult, mature relationship with them, you should want to be friends with them either way. You shouldn’t look at doing nice deeds for them as a means to an end, e.g. getting sex from them. Friends do nice things for each other, they listen to each other and they are there for one another. That is what being a friend means. Being a “really nice guy” doesn’t entitle you to sex, sexual favors or boyfriend status.

The sense of entitlement is the huge problem here. Just treating someone with respect and showing you care about them shouldn’t be something you keep track of to be turned in for something later on. A REAL nice person does these things because they want to help the person they care about, they don’t care if they get anything back for it. This sounds like a lesson you would be teaching a first grader, it seems obvious. Yet, somehow we have it in our heads that women immediately become super-bitches because they don’t want to sleep with us.

I suppose this goes back to the fact that men always seem to try and blame women in a situation, or at least shift the blame toward them. It does honestly suck listening to female friends bemoan the fact that no nice guys ever seem to find them, but that doesn’t make them evil or bitchy. The fact is, part of a romantic interest is physical. If they aren’t attracted to you, than it doesn’t matter how nice you are. You shouldn’t resent them for this, if the situation was reversed you would feel in the right.

If you think someone is unattractive, it isn’t meant to be an insult to them, they is just not what you are looking for. There is bound to be someone out there that thinks your attractive that you mirror the same sentiments for. Don’t scorn people for following the same desires you are.

All of that being said, women really need to stop fake-friend-zoning guys. By this I mean when you say you just want to be friends with someone you don’t really want to be friends with because you think it makes the rejection speech sound better. Should you happen across and actual nice guy who really does want to be friends with you anyways because they… I don’t know… actually find you interesting and think you’re a good person, don’t lie to them.

Save them the pain of being rejected and then feeling your fake friendship fall apart as well. If you actually want to be friends with them, make an effort to do so. If you don’t, just tell them you don’t think things are working between the two of you and go your separate ways.

Moral of this rant: Be honest and look at things from other people’s perspectives.



Posted on February 4, 2014, in Daily Rantings and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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