Dating: We Are Brainwashed By Society to Play Games and Not Be Direct

I’ll never forget the first time I started learning how to meet women; it was at my local Abercrombie & Fitch in the mall. I saw an amazingly beautiful, short blonde woman who I was really drawn to for some reason. She worked in the store, and at the time, I was accompanied by one of my best friends, who was also witnessing this “first approach” of mine. I was prepared as I ever could be—I read the dating books, watched the DVD seminars, and even watched other men approach women until I was comfortable with my knowledge on the subject. I looked at her from across the room and decided I would nonchalantly ask her for an opinion on an outfit that I picked out, and next try to ask for her phone number.

It all seemed so clear to me—so simple and seemingly obstacle free. What could go wrong? Well, I offered her a non-threatening smile and said hello, and proceeded with asking her this “opinion” question of mine. I was so incredibly nervous, a nervousness that was deep set into me due the evolution of humanity. This fear we have, of approaching women, according to the dating books, stems from our ancestors, where if they approached the wrong women (like approaching another man’s wife) there would be dire consequences because of the small communities they lived in. Not to mention people back in those days were unspeakably barbaric and wouldn’t hesitate for a moment to cut a man’s hand off for such an action. However, humanity has since grown and there are no such consequences for simply saying hello to someone. It seems that our genetics are behind in this way.

Anyways, back to reality, this woman responded to me well at first. I got her to laugh and smile, she gave me her opinion, and so I was hopeful. Then came the moment of truth, I took a few seconds to gather my composure and I asked the question. Although, it would have seemed like I was asking her to marry me, just based on my anxiety alone.

“You seem like a nice girl, what’s your number? We should hang out some time,” I said timidly.

“Sorry, I just can’t do that,” she replied back.

“Oh no worries…it’s all good,” I awkwardly said as I walked back to my friend, to tell him the results of what had happened.

It wasn’t so much that I was upset over the fact that I didn’t get her number, I was just confused why I didn’t get it and what I might have done wrong. Well, obviously, looking back on it now, I clearly didn’t build enough comfort with the woman, and I attempted to get her phone number after only a 45 second conversation. Despite the mistakes, I still think that it was a pretty fucking good attempt, especially for my first EVER approach. Most guys wouldn’t even have gotten to the “can I get your number part” to begin with.

But the reason I bring this up is because when I look back on that, I realize that I’ve always had this desire to be honest with women—to be direct in telling them if I feel attraction for them. Obviously, now that I’m a grown man, and I have an extremely comprehensive understanding of social dynamics, I know that with most women you simply cannot just come right out and say “I like you,” as this will most likely cause the interaction to go downhill.

So in retrospect, yes, I very much have learned how to play games and acted disinterested in women to get them to be interested in me and blah and blah.

But you know what? I hate having to play games. I think it’s a huge waste of both people’s time and is so entirely unnecessary. I wish in this society we could walk up to someone and say, “Wow, you are really beautiful and I would love to get to know you, when you have some free time.”

Unfortunately, it just isn’t like that in today’s world. No, instead, we are trained from a young age that any sort of affection towards the opposite sex is bad. Especially in the case of Hunter Yelton, who is a 6-year-old boy that was suspended from school and charged with sexual harassment (the charges were subsequently dropped) for kissing one of his female classmates playfully on the hand. Here’s the article: CNN News Story

Really? Is society that fucked up that we are going to start accusing little 6 year olds of being sex offenders? The schools LOVE showing their disgusting authoritarian ways and pure abuse of power. I’m really not surprised. But anyway, it is precedents such as these which shape people’s brains from a young age into thinking that it’s somehow bad to display affection and be sincere with another person. As a result, we are left with a society full of brainwashed people who thrive off of playing games with one another, and waste a tremendous amount of time in the process.

But the interesting thing is that most women (and men) will tell you right off the bat that they hate game playing and want someone who is “honest.” Well I’m calling bullshit on that to the highest possible extent. The majority of people now-a-days enjoy the challenge of chasing someone. Women, especially, actually find it more attractive when a guy is mysterious and doesn’t quite show her whether or not he is interested. They love these guessing games of “Oh my gosh, I wonder if he likes me?!?!” rather than just coming out and saying they do. You’d think we were all back in grade school, where it was some big deal when a boy admitted to a girl that he “liked” her. I truly believe a part of that childish behavior is in the vast majority of society.

It’s just the way it is—act disinterested and then receive interest. Welcome to the fucked up reality of dating in the 21st century.



Posted on January 31, 2014, in Daily Rantings and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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